Posted October 26, 2012
By Foggy Fielder
We take you now to 1 Carden Street, the site of the 2012 Guelph World Series. Let’s see if we can speak with Mayor Karen Farbridge, general manager of team Progressives.
“Mayor, what are your views on maintaining a team code of conduct that is attached to a code on ethics?”
“We hit a home run the other night with our designated hitter Ian Findlay putting that pesky Cam Guthrie in his place. It was brilliant, if I do say so myself.”
“Mayor, is it fair that councillors cannot speak out in public if they believe your team is misleading the series with foul balls?”
“Let me remind you that maintaining decorum on the field is just as important as building the new stadium er, new city.”
“How’s that rookie from south field, Todd Dennis, hitting the ball these days?”
“Oh! He’s a comer. Good on the inside pitch and a great guy in the locker room.”
“Some call him Dennis the defector because he told one story in the minors but changed his pitch since coming up to the bigs.”
“You couldn’t be more wrong. He’s made a great contribution to our team. Look at his record since moving up.”
“Mayor, there has been a lot of criticism about your hand-picked manager, Ann Pappert. Fans say she spends too much time supporting your team and ground crew without listening to the other team.”
“You’ve been listening too much to the fans and not enough about the great work our manager is doing. She has control of the clubhouse and speaks her mind when necessary.”
“She seemed to rebel when she repudiated your team for “regressive” thinking that was not “palatable” in respect to next season’s schedule.”
“I’m confident we’ll field a great team for the 2014 season despite what the other team plans.”
“But Mayor, this game has nine innings. Isn’t it a little early to be predicting another victory for your progressives team when the other team has not yet come up to bat?”
“You’ll have to excuse me, I have to consult my management team, James Gordon, Ken Hammill and Cathy Downer who are in the bullpen getting ready for the next game.”
There you have it.
The Mayor’s team is composed of Short Stop, Scooter Piper; Pitcher, Off Speed Maggie Laidlaw; Left Fielder, Karl Wettstein; Bat Girl, June Hofland; Clean-up Man, Ian Findlay; Bunter, Lise Burcher; and Mr. Flexible, Todd Dennis.
All-star material or will they be beaten in the final innings?
Is this a great game, or what?