News Flash! Kangaroos escape German wildlife park

Posted August i4, 2012

Attention all polizei: Be on the look out for three oddly shaped escapees with small heads and big legs that are dangerous and very Australian. They are believed to be headed for the Quantas airline terminal at Frankfort. Ticket agents have been put on high alert and warned that their passports may not be valid.

Australians in Germany are cheering the ‘Roos on and offering hideouts for the trio of bungee jumping national symbols. “Go for it digger!” is heard from the ranks of Aussies in Germany.

Polizei should take caution as these escapees can box having just missed the Australian men’s Olympic boxing team.

If encountered, It is possible to lure them into custody by offering a bottle of Foster’s beer. Otherwise contain them and await experts from the Australian consulate to arrive and persuade the ‘Roos to surrender.

Officers should also be looking for two accomplices: A fox that penetrated the enclosure by digging a hole under the enclosure fence. His partner, a wild boar, enlarged the hole to allow the three Kangaroos to escape.

Anyone who sees these ‘Roos on the lam should report their location to the State police.

Otherwise, offer them a refreshing Pilsner and wish them bon voyage.

Latest news: Two of the “Roos have been captured sampling some shrimp on the barbie.

Their co-conspirators, the unidentified fox and boar, have decided to open a pub called the Fox and Board in Dusseldorf.

The Australian government is demanding a public enquiry as to how the ‘Roos were taken from the country.

One of the captured escapees was heard to mutter: “ Another 20 klicks and we would have been in Austria.”

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